And Then There Were Two
by purecraziness
Summary: Based off of "Fireworks" by You Me At Six.


Disclaimer: Character not mine, but mistakes are...blah blah blah...

* * *

It is unusually cold as they watch the sun fade over the horizon. The temperature in Los Angeles is in the mid eighties, but inside the SRX, the uncomfortable silence causes it to feel like it's freezing. And unfortunately, it's been like this for the last few hours because neither one of them is willing to give in and actually talk about the whole situation, discuss the one person that caused this problem.

* * *

"_Are you really going out with him?" He asks, hoping she has changed her mind by now. _

"_With who?"_

"_You know who, Kensi."_

"_Deeks, it's just dinner. No big deal." She says as she picks up her belongings._

_He stands there, staring at her, trying to think of some way to respond. He wants to tell her that it is a huge deal, that her going out on a date with another man is a mistake, but he can't manage to make the words come out of his mouth. _

_It isn't until he hears the wooden door shut that he breaks out of his daze, realizing just how much of a coward he really is._

_That night he goes through several clips, firing off dozens of bullets, hitting his paper target in only one spot...right in the chest, where the heart would be._

* * *

They've been on this stakeout for two hours now and the streetlights have finally come on. Their suspect, an officer in the Navy, hasn't left his apartment building since they arrived and their supply of snacks is rapidly decreasing. Deeks keeps tapping his feet while Kensi continues to crinkle the wrappers of her already eaten Twinkies. Both partners seem to be trying to see how long it will take before the other gets annoyed, however, they're both only doing it to break the quietness.

* * *

_She arrives her usual time, but with an unusual smile. He doesn't look up, knowing that it will crush his heart all over again. Callen and Sam begin asking her questions, trying to figure out why she has been so excited this past month and luckily, before she manages to answer too many, Eric announces they have a new case._

_At the end of the day, after their case is over, Kensi asks, "Hey, you want to go catch a movie, maybe grab some overly greasy Chinese food?"_

"_Uh...I um...I've got some paperwork to finish up. Maybe another time." He replies, hoping she buys his horrible excuse. It's not too surprising when she doesn't call him out on it._

_He wishes he could say yes to her offer, but he can't because it's not the same between them anymore, not since she has been going out with that man._

_So instead of hanging out with his partner he chooses to work out in the gym, punching the bag so much that his knuckles bleed. It doesn't bother him though because the pain helps him feel something other than broken._

* * *

Another couple of hours go by and their suspect has now turned off his lights, presumably going to bed. There has been an occasional "Are you tired?" or "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom," but other than that, there is nothing except silence. He knows what he should say, wants with everything his body to say it, but he can't look her in the face because the only thing he sees is a woman that's not his anymore, maybe wasn't his to begin with.

* * *

"_Kensi," he begins, voice already cracking, "is that...?"_

_She looks down to where he is pointing and realizes that she just made a huge mistake. She quickly takes the ring off her finger, stuffing it into her pocket. "I was going to tell you, Deeks." Kensi states. _

"_Am I the only one who doesn't know?"_

"_Well, you've been on undercover assignments for the last few months. I just...I didn't know...I don't know... - "_

"_Does he make you happy?" _

_She hesitates because technically, he does make her happy, just not as happy as she could be. "Yeah Deeks, he does." She half lies. _

_He gives her a sad smile before slamming his laptop shut, leaving her completely frustrated._

_When Deeks gets home that night, after trying his best to relax by catching a few waves, he sits on his couch and drinks beer after beer. Eventually, he gives in to the alcohol, drifting off to sleep with Monty by his side._

* * *

She takes the first shift, watching to make sure their suspect doesn't sneak out, while Deeks sleeps in the passenger seat. She is hungry, aggravated, exhausted, and yet somehow, she wouldn't want to be anywhere else because he's by her side. She wants to reach for him, to touch his skin, but the subtle touches aren't what they do anymore. That part of their partnership has been gone. He promised he would never leave, but to her, it feels like he left months ago.

* * *

"_I can't be there, Kensi." He announces one afternoon after the team finishes another case. _

"_What?"_

"_At the ceremony." He clarifies while straightening up items on his desk. He knows once he looks at her he'll get upset at himself, knowing he could change all of this. With three simple words, she could be his...forever. _

"_Oh, okay." She stutters. _

"_It's not that –"_

"_It's fine, Deeks." _

"_No, Kens –" He begins, but it doesn't matter because she's already left her desk. _

_The next morning, by the time she is set to arrive at work, he is already sitting on the corner in some smelly old clothes and begging for change from strangers. He tried to tell her about his undercover assignment, that he wasn't sure he was really going to be able to make it, but she took it the wrong way. And he if was honest with himself, he wouldn't be able to go even without the assignment because seeing her walking down the aisle towards another man would kill him. She'll find out the reason for his absence from Hetty anyways, he figures._

* * *

Deeks' phone vibrates, waking him up and indicating it's the beginning of his shift. He turns to see Kensi staring out the window, appearing to be in her own little world. He looks at her, wondering what she is thinking, and begins to worry when her hand comes up to wipe her face. It's only then does he realize that she's been crying, but over what, he doesn't know, doesn't think it's his place to ask anymore. So instead of interrupting what seems to be a private moment, he stays silent and glances out his own window, waiting until she realizes he is awake.

* * *

"_Honey, it's time." She hears her mother say._

_Kensi checks her dress and hair one last time before turning around. Her mother looks happy even with tears slowly making their way down her cheeks and Kensi should be too, but something feels off._

"_Your father would be so proud of you." Julia states. _

_She smiles and her mother grabs her arm, preparing to walk with her down the aisle. The music plays in the background, indicating that it really is time. She looks around the church and quickly spots her fellow coworkers, their smiles unknowingly forced on their faces. She glances at the man waiting at the alter with a smile on his face that makes it look like he just won the lottery. When she closes her eyes, only for a quick second, she only sees one man in her mind; the one man that isn't there._

* * *

He knows it's probably creepy but he watches her sleep, chuckles when she smiles, and he wonders what she's dreaming about. She looks peaceful and content...something he hasn't seen in a very long time. It makes him sad to know that all of this it not because of him, but he's happy if she is because he once read that if you love someone, you've got to let them go...no matter how much it hurts.

* * *

_Julia places Kensi's hand into her future husband's, sniffling and wiping back tears as she takes a seat on one of the pews. _

"_You look so beautiful." He says._

_She smiles and stares at their joined hands. She thinks all of the ways this feels wrong... the way this man's hands hold hers, there are supposed to be sparks when he gently runs his thumbs across her skin, she's supposed to have butterflies in her stomach. The dress, the church, the guests, and the groom...it's not right at all._

"_I..I can't." She mumbles, interrupting the priest, tears quickly forming in her eyes as she finally glances back up at him._

_He looks completely confused and utterly heartbroken, but nowhere near as devastated as Deeks did when he originally found out she was getting married._

_Quickly grabbing the rest of her dress so she won't step on it, she jogs down the aisle, leaving the majority of the guests totally puzzled. The only ones not surprised are the people who knew it was all wrong in the first place._

* * *

She becomes aware of her partner talking to someone and it takes her a minute to realize it's only Callen explaining that him and Sam will be there soon. She hears Deeks hang up his cell phone and start tapping his fingers on his jeans, completely unaware that she has woken up. She keeps her eyes closed as she tries to think of a way to tell him everything she's been wanting to for the past several months, everything she feels for him. She can't wait any longer because just as she demanded so many months ago, he displayed how he really felt about her, but she never responded. He needs to know he's really not the coward, she is.

"I couldn't do it." Kensi mutters.

He quickly turns his head at hearing her voice. "What are you talking about?"

"I couldn't say yes to him, Deeks."

"...What? Kens, why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm tired of fighting. You kissed me and then I never said anything. I'm so sorry, Deeks. This is all my fault. I just...I don't know..."

"You should be sorry! I did what you wanted, I showed you how I felt about you, and then you go out with Sabatino! Out of all people, you chose him! You were about to marry him, Kensi! What were you thinking?" He exclaimss, clearly aggravated.

"I don't know! I guess...I knew I wouldn't be able to marry him anyways because of how I feel about you. It's always been you, Deeks. I just...I was scared of loving you and possibly losing you. I'm sorry."

* * *

_She's out of breathe when she finally stops in front of his apartment. She knocks, hoping by some crazy chance, he's home. She waits ten minutes before giving up and calling Nell to come pick her up. It's takes a few minutes for her friend to arrive and when she does, Kensi quickly climbs into the car, knowing Nell will calm her down._

"_What am I doing?" She asks. _

"_You're doing what you should have done in the first place."_

_Kensi smiles and for the first time in awhile, it's a genuine smile. Glancing over at Nell, she sees the tech analyst holding back a squeal and they both begin laughing. "I'm really doing this, aren't I?"_

"_Lets hope so because the ridiculous flirting between you two is getting old."_

* * *

Deeks stares at her, absolutely speechless. She cautiously reaches for his hand, taking it in both of hers. His gaze moves down to their hands and she watches as goosebumps slowly form on his arms.

"Please, say something." Kensi pleads.

"I...uh..." He starts, but his phone rings and interrupts them both. She lets go of his hand and he quickly picks up the phone, but she only hears one side of the conversation. After hanging up, Deeks says, "Our shift is over. Lets go." And with that, the silence returns.

* * *

"_So...when are you going to tell him?"_

_Nell's enthusiasm causes her to laugh._ _"I don't know. He hasn't even gotten back yet. I'll just have to find the right time...somehow." She responds. _

_With the problems over the last several months, Kensi wonders how long it'll take before Deeks gets back from his undercover operation, if he'll still feel the same way as he did when he kissed her, and what his reaction will be to hearing that she didn't get married...because of him. She wonders why she really ever said yes to Sabatino in the first place, why she was so eager especially since her and Deeks waited so long, but then she realized the major problem...they're partners._

_With Sabatino, he was in a different area, she had her space, and the excitement of seeing each other after being away for weeks was what kept their relationship going...it worked for them. But with Deeks, she sees him every single day, works side by side, so what if they eventually get tired of each other? Would he really leave? There are too many questions to be asked and most of them won't be answered. She has been torturing herself with waiting, admitting her feelings to him after he showed her how he felt. She doesn't care anymore about the consequences of them being together because she's sick of not seeing him at all._

* * *

"Kensi, I don't know what you want me to say." He stutters while looking down at the floor and fidgeting with his hands. "I...I don't understand any of it."

She doesn't reply, doesn't know what he expects her to say because she thought she said it all, but now in the bullpen, she thinks maybe she didn't say enough. He glances up at her with a puzzled expression on his face and she can't tell if it's to see if she's actually telling the truth or if he's trying to decide if he wants to be with her anymore.

"God Kens, I can't believe after all this, after everything we've been through, that you walked down the aisle so quickly. It's taken us four years to admit our feelings to each other and it takes you less than a year for him to come in and take you away..."

"He was safe, Deeks. That's why. All of our jobs are dangerous, but with his, somebody else is his partner. For us, you have my back and I have yours so if anything were to happen to you, that'd be on me. Do you honestly think I'd be alright with knowing that if either one of us made one wrong move and died, that the other would be okay after?"

"It's a risk that comes with the job, Kens. So...are you saying in order for us to try this relationship, that we can't be partners...?"

"We depend on each other way too much, Deeks, but I don't trust anyone else."

* * *

_It's two in the morning by the time he makes it home from his undercover assignment which means he has around five hours to get some sleep before going into OSP. The debriefing took longer than he would have liked, but they never go as planned anyways. So, instead of getting a proper night of rest, he'll live off another few cups of coffee...like he's been doing for weeks now. _

_When he is rudely awaken by his cell phone alarm, he quickly gets up and gets ready for work, but is still nowhere near prepared for the day. He arrives a little after nine, noticing that the rest of the team is already there so he greets them as politely as he can manage. _

"_Hey Deeks, welcome back." She says with a smile on her face._

"_Hi." He replies probably a little colder than intended. There is no way he could be in a good mood today when he's had barely any sleep, is injured, and has to come back to the woman he loves that is now supposed to be a married woman. The only way his day is going to get better is when he picks Monty up later on._

_She knows why he's upset, understands that he has missed so much since he's been gone so she has to find some time to tell him, to explain she didn't go through with it. She's about to ask him to go somewhere else, somewhere private, but just as she opens her mouth, Eric whistles and alerts them of yet another new case._

_They all start walking up the stairs and she tries again, "Deeks?" When he doesn't respond, she knows it's going to be a really tough day. It's going to be weird receiving the cold shoulder from a guy that she's usually having to beg to shut up._

* * *

The knock on her door is almost thirty minutes early but it doesn't surprise her. She's excited and has every reason to be, especially with what she knows is waiting on the other side. So, without waiting any longer, she eagerly opens the door with a huge smile on her face. "Hi." She says.

"Hey." He replies. She thinks his nervousness is cute and it causes her to grin even more, if possible. "Is uh...is Kensi here?"

She laughs and shoves one of his shoulders. "You're ridiculous."

"I see your abusiveness hasn't eased up any. I'm going to be covered in bruises by the end of this date, you know?" He grins, rubbing the shoulder she just hit. "You ready to go? Your taxi awaits, madam."

"Deeks, don't make me punch you again." Kensi responds as she locks the door behind her.

He grabs her hand once they get near the end of the stairs, interlacing their fingers. "Some things never change."

She glances at him and then at their joined hands, the smile still not having left her face. "And good thing that some do."

END.

* * *

Author's Note: Don't know if I will make this an unrelated song fic thing or not. Opinions, reviews, and all of that are welcome and appreciated. Oh, to those of you who are reading my other story, I haven't forgot about it, but a few family deaths happened over the summer, then school started and writer's block got in the way but I'm working on it!


End file.
